Aggie Recap: explosion then implosionNovember 14, 2010 by: Bear_Up_There
Explosion to Implosion:
My 6th grade science teacher taught me the difference between explosion and implosion, fascinating. The only thing more fascinating at the time was the fact that a couple of girls in the grade started to stuff their bras. (Not fooling anyone Jessica and Tara). The term “stuffing” refers to the idea of girls with no chest filling their bra with tissue paper to appear ‘big on top.’ It’s an illusion that even David Blaine would frown upon.
The tale of two halves:
1st half: Explosion
This offense is explosive, and the Aggies were able to see this first hand as the ‘Wrecking Crew’ was able to take mental pictures of Griffin and Finley’s ham-cheeks scurrying down the field. Don’t worry though, we know Aggies only fancy white wool- a mammal that rhymes with jeep.
Robert Griffin bursts up the middle for a 71 yard touchdown reminding everyone, even the Baylor faithful, that RG III still knows speed.
Jay Finely is pissed that Griffin already has more rushing yards than him and decides to bust a 69 yard touchdown himself-sorry Jay, two yards shorter than Bobby.
Baylor is up 30-21 at the half with absolutely no signs that this Aggie team will slow down our explosive offense- Imodium AD perhaps? Wrong explosion.
2nd half: Implosion
Implosion happens when an object collapses upon itself, generally being crushed by an outside force. I can’t help but think that our defense is this outside force most of the time. And I’m sure Aaron Jones is a perfectly fine human individual who is incredibly philanthropic in his spare time, but he might be the stronger force that caused this implosion.
7 points were left off the board, that’s a punt return by Kalief Muhammad for a touchdown and an extra point. (Really it’s 10, but I had to find some way to include Kalief’s name). In big games, you simply cannot have this happen, especially when it involves an extra point and a straight away 27 yard FG.
Momentum is a funny thing in sports, and whether you want to believe it or not, that missed FG to start the 2nd half by Jones took the wind out of the green and gold sails. We looked deflated after that, both offense and defense. It’s a giant burden on an offense when they know they HAVE to score TD’s to win the game. A team plays slightly different when they lose faith in not only their defense, but their kicker as well.
Watching that game last night versus the Aggies reminded me of Tara and Jessica. The Bears wanted to appear like a Double D, instead the Aggies took their time pulling out each ream of tissue paper, piece by piece revealing a B cup.
We defeated some teams that weren’t too good, built up our confidence, and sparked hope in the great Baylor nation. It was grand, beautiful, exquisite, and…misleading.
We’re in a good place though, the good news is that girls who “stuff” are trying to speed up the process of the inevitable. Don’t worry girls, you’ll grow. If you don’t, I know some great plastic surgeons in Southlake.
The good news, Tara and Jessica are now going to have back problems when they’re older.